Dealing with Change

As I write this I’m on a flight from Dublin to Altlanta, a work trip that involves all things conference, networking, and because it’s Cancun – drinking 😉

But the purpose of this post isn’t to go into the drinking delights of Mexico (hopefully none is too disappointed), but more of a focus on meeting and greeting worst fears. Or what is perceived your worst fears.
I’ve spent the past week or so working away, sleeping little and watching my digestion plummet into chaos.
It’s this challenge that I’d rather discuss although a fun post Mexican will be coming (teaser alert).
Everyone has fears, and what I’ve learned the hard way is that there is no shying away from it. So what’s a woman to do on a long haul flight to a place that’s so exciting, yet ignites long buried fears?
To that I’m unsure, however I’ve found the best antidote is pure acceptance. I’ve found that through this technique, one can transcend tricky situations, particularly those of an unexpected nature.
Second, reaching out to even one person can make all the difference. Admitting to anyone what frightens or scares us is difficult, showing aspects of ourselves that aren’t exactly everyday can seem terrifying. It can also be enriching and bring you closer to that person, knowing that there is someone for any future crises can also be comforting 🙂
Third, letting go of the need to control can also help regarding facing the unknown. This is key, because the possibility is wide open for one to begin imagining all the situations, scenarios and intricacies that could make theme. It’s good to be prepared for multiple eventualities, it’s what our pre-frontal vortex is adept at, however it can also mean that our anxiety can spark off an unending relentless, vicious circle of thoughts and emotions that left alone too long can become hard to control. Catching it early is key.
Finally, I’m not not entirely sure how my trip will go, but I know that changing myself internally, that alone could have the most powerful effect, beyond anything external. Even if nothing else remarkable happens.
One book I’m listening to at the moment is Becoming Supernatural by Dr. Joe Dispenza. It details stories of people who have changed their state of being, their health and pulled themselves back from the brink of disaster to completely reinvent themselves with the power of their mind. It further goes into emotions and how the body contains these as memories and how to release them in order to build a new life for oneself.
PS. This should he treated as a last resort, and as much as I don’t like disclosing this information, visiting a doctor and getting something even just temporarily or for the interim can help too.

Letting go of Expectation

When I was travelling in Florence I found myself on the first day in an old cathedral named Santa Croce, not too far from the famous Ponte Vecchio and the Arno river. It was here that I sensed an unsettling pressure within me and I realised a part of me was feeling overwhelmed from something. Noticing the opportunity to explore and relieve whatever it was I was feeling I sat down in one of the pews, as other tourists wandered around gazing at the tombs of Niccolò Machiavelli and Galileo and various artworks.

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Learn to let go of expectations as they arise, and accept what is to be.

The discomfort came from a pressure I was putting on myself to do everything I possibly could in the short time I was there, and my investigation into this made me realise how impossible and unrealistic this expectation was. This demand I had placed upon myself was in a hurry to see the next sight, treating the break as simply an itinerary to ‘cover’ off, as though I was speeding through a checklist I hadn’t intentionally created.

It was then that I decided to let the burning need to see and do as much as possible go, and when I did, it became clear to me how easy it was for me to enjoy the details of the interior of the grand cathedral I was sitting in. To appreciate the now and what was here, instead of allowing my mind to race onto what was next. I felt such peace and contentment that I just sat in the pew, quietly looking around at the splendor of art and sculptures and the high ceiling. This was what the break was truly for anyway. I didn’t need to do anything, this was good enough and the racing in my mind ceased, allowing me to turn my attention to the details of the now.

Expectation has a two sided purpose, one could be to help us manifest what we want in life and two is a ruminating effect so overwhelming that it begins to drain our happiness in the moment. Perhaps a third purpose is learning to let go of expectations as they arise, and allow what is to be. Everything passes eventually, the good and the bad, and I’ve found the fastest way to contentment is to let go what you think should be and allow for what is. Things we expect to happen exactly as we plan for it rarely ever transpires, it’s called life, but it sets us up for disappointment.

Perhaps there can be faith and belief instead in what is to come, coupled with acceptance for the moment.

We can use the moment as our bedrock, our foundational bottom, to choose how we want to be with ourselves, with others and with life.

A Simple Guide to Meditation

‘Ommmmmmmm.’

Just joking. But really there’s a reason this practice has been around for so long. It’s very effective, at least it can be when you put in the effort. Let the Q&A session ensue!

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Meditate in nature when you can

You say: Meditation is haaaard.

I know. That is why you start small. Don’t begin with high expectations thinking you’ll be sitting there for an hour glimpsing into the secrets of the universe, they do exist, but that comes with perseverance, patience and time 😉 Commit 5 minutes each morning and eventually you’ll naturally fall into 10, 15 and then longer.

Is it worth it? 

Definitely, depending on what you put into it determines what you get out of it. Like life itself, it’s that simple. For me personally, I’ve found it gives me great perception over myself and my thought patterns and emotional tendencies which can be very empowering. It improves your focus and makes you a calmer person.

‘The thing about meditation is: you become more and more you.’ – David Lynch

My mind won’t shut up. 

Good. That’s natural. And it will be like that for a while. A key practise you could do to get yourself ahead is to instead of being engaged with your thoughts, simply watch them. Taking an outside stance like watching a circus performance. Don’t judge, don’t analyse, just watch. Another way of trying is projecting it onto a massive cinema screen in front of you and you watch it like a film. It gives you a stance of objectivity and a whole new view of yourself.

How do I start? 

Yes – you got to this part! Get a meditation cushion or chair. Sitting on the floor hurts the backside and we’ve all sat through Lord of the Rings. Nobody wants that. It will eventually act as an external stimulus that will trigger your brain to prepare your mind for meditating.

Hmm. Ok, maybe I’ll start.

Go for it! 🙂

Let me know what experiences any you guys have, especially when starting off. When I began a few years ago, I did so with a small book containing easy to-do exercises for 10-15 minutes before progressing for longer.

For additional tips you can try the Psychology Today website – https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-practice/201303/5-meditation-tips-beginners.

Useful Tips for Journaling

Keeping a journal is like keeping a record of your life. But it can also be a lot more than that. You see, writing down your experiences is great and all but you only gain when you investigate what you have learnt from all these experiences.

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These are the golden nuggets of your life, for if you journal you gain clarity over aspects of your life and over time you will begin to see a pattern take shape. You may begin to draw the dots on recurring issues you are not dealing with or a repetitive mood or reaction you have to a certain individual. You see more clearly where you’ve come from and added clarity means it can aid you in deciding where you’re going. Some key points:

  • Journal frequently. A few times a week. It’s especially good for those moments when you feel good about yourself but also when you feel bad.
  • Be honest. You’re not writing for a press conference, it’s a safe open space for you to be your true self. Write down things you cannot say to people. Go nuts!
  • From personal experience, I’m familiar with the lightness that I feel once I’ve written something down that is bothering me, whether it’s a situation or a person. Journalling I find is good for dissipating negative emotions and having a more peaceful mind.
  • The clarity you gain about yourself and your situations is everything. It’s empowering. But it only comes from sticking to it.
  • What you do with the knowledge you gain from this technique is entirely up to you. Personally, it helped me figure out a lot of things, namely what I want.
  • Over time, you can look back at how your life has been progressing so far. The highs and the lows. Which can offer you a fresh perspective on your past and how you got to where you are today, and where you’re going.
  • Helps identify your fears.

You don’t have to be a great writer to keep a journal, and you don’t need a fancy notebook that cost you €20 from Easons. Just persistence and having an awareness that it is a resourceful tool during those testing moments in life. What have been your experiences so far with journalling? It’s always good to get insight and input from others!

meditation, spirituality, journaling

All Life is in Transition…

We’re all learners. From a very early age we begin to grow and there is value in it. So why do we not heed certain new information as it arises? Example time. When I was younger I loved to write, but decided that I wouldn’t earn any money from it and needed to be more practical and career focused. Fast forward ten years later and I’ve now turned my back on working for other companies and I’m now doing my own thing. I’ve written my first book out of what will be a trilogy and currently looking to get it published. But I learned that it wasn’t meant for me and was more suited to a different lifestyle and took action. And it takes courage.

Life can be like that. It’s continuous tweaking and adjusting, but as we do that, are we doing it correctly? Through synchronous events, life throws us hints on where we should be or like to go, opportunities arise and we turn them away based mainly on fear. Fear of what could go wrong, what other people will think and of failure. That last one is hard isn’t it? Not only cause it hurts but it’s amplified when it’s social. We don’t want others to see us fall flat on our face.

However, the difference is when you get up.