Facing stressful situations or people can bring on past issues, our unconscious can commincate untrue beliefs to us about ourselves that have no grounding in reality.
I found myself in this position recently, blaming myself for another person’s negative behaviour, completely convinced it was something I had done wrong with zilch evidence to prove it. I stayed stuck in a fearful loop of repetitive reactions, staying quiet and making myself small, not speaking up and not even looking in the other persons direction in my job.
This is a response I’ve done for years and it’s amazing how we humans succumb to a reactive loop again and again.
I got home later that evening and was so bothered and disappointed in myself (and a little pissed off) that I sat down and meditated on it.
My mind leapt from fear to self-negative talk to fear again:
‘I’ve to go back in again tomorrow!’
‘I’m weak, look at how I performed today.’
‘I’m clearly not good enough to be in this place.’
‘I don’t fit in.’
‘This person doesn’t like me and I’m only a distraction to them when they’re trying to focus, that’s all I am there.’
I mean, these thoughts are untrue but that doesn’t matter. I still believed in them, thankfully I also believe in my own inner superhero.
During meditation, sorting through the melee of self deprecation was also something stubborn and mad. Defiant against my co-workers and the situation, a strength that was surprising in its presence, and the emotional pain was replaced with balance and equilibrium set in.
If there had been no meditation, no hero would have emerged from the maelstrom churning inside. When you’re suffering, there’ll always be a part of you that’s MAD, find the mad and channel yourself towards balance, even if it means you have to be angry for a while. It’s ok to be angry – especially if it means you’ve been stepped on, disrespected or something else. Use it, don’t simmer sitting on it. It’s got a voice with something to say, let it catapult you back to a healthier spot.
Your Inner Superhero knows your value and what’s best for you and it’ll keep you through tough situations. Managing other people but most importantly, yourself. It’s your core self that priorities you above all else so you can be your best everyday. It can save the day if you tap into it.
Does anyone know what I’m talking about? Sometimes I feel like I’m talking crazy since of course I write and edit these posts myself. I sometimes wonder if I’m writing in a bell jar and im just being delusional :p
Does anyone feel like they’vecome to their own rescue? If so, how did you do it?