Managing the Joys of Social Anxiety

Social anxiety comes in different types and can vary from mild to extreme. I’ve missed work conferences and cried inwardly through meetings, avoid having to breach uncomfortable topics in my job to avoid confrontation.
I would blurt something out just to give an answer at times, and to not seem like I’m taking too long to give it. Because if I take too long, I may seem unintelligent. It’s escaping the discomfort of the other person waiting on me and it’s rooted in low self-belief.
For anyone who’s got social anxiety, you may relate to some of my own experiences below:
  • I tend to be overly chatty and joking, to protect myself against judgement from other people. Distract them by fake movements and facade so they are left with a favourable view of me, even it it isn’t the ‘real me’. It’s a social survival tactic and has done me no favours in attracting and keeping people worth having in my life.
  • Crippling self consciousness of what other people think of me (the previous point means this becomes a vicious circle, the pressuring need to continue the act).
  • Afraid of offending or pissing people off, and having no confidence to back myself in confrontation.
  • My self-worth at some point, became tied to what intelligent and more self-respecting people thought of me. This is pretty dangerous when you consider how I could treat myself if even one of these people didn’t like me for whatever reason.
The only way I’ve managed to move past it to some degree and success, was initiating the following:
  • Knowing that I can heal from anything. If you can fix this belief right into the core of your being, you’re doing better than most people.
  • Knowing that I’ve got my back in confrontations. Staying in your own side when you feel it is right and backing yourself up. Cultivating an inner loyalty.
  • Knowing that I’m worthy, no matter what. I’ve talked about this tonnes of times in my previous posts. Self-worth not being tied to performance, or whatever measuring stick you or someone else is using on you. You’re an independent human being living on this planet, configure it from there.
  • Accepting your imperfections. Easier said than done but again, it’s knowing you’re worthy despite them. It’s the birthplace of everlasting strength.

What have your experiences have been with social anxiety? Does anyone feel like the more they’ve moved through life, that they’ve been able to cope better? Or even if there was just one thing you did to alleviate it, what was it?

Photo by Katie Treadway on

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