Journaling As Blog Ideas

dariusz-sankowski-dvK_CT1Wg78-unsplash.jpgSo I chose this week’s topic because a thought was running through my mind – what do I write about?
Topic ideas don’t always flow from a heavenly vase carried by a cherub prancing in a fountain. Sometimes they have to be scraped up from the bottom of the barrel in your mind.
Every writer has their peace on topic generation but how do you generate ideas?
One good tip (which probably only applies to self-help bloggers like myself) is unearthing core, raw topics through journaling.
Journaling is a great way to explore and touch on hard-to-touch things within yourself and can produce interesting, powerful topics for you to explore further.
For example, it was only through journaling that I discovered, in detail, the extent of my social anxiety.
And details can be important.
It illuminates and highlights what can be a tumultuous maelstrom of emotions, sensations and thoughts and deciphering what is what and how it’s all connected and what the overall message is,l. It can be complicated, depending on how far the issue goes.
Depending on your comfort level and depth of courage, you can share your experiences flowed into and documented through journaling by writing up blog posts based on what you’ve found out and any learning you want to pass on.
This has been the basis for a few of my previous blog posts and it has brought out some of the most intricate and insightful articles I’ve ever written. It’s also felt the most authentic and if I’m honest, it’s helped me heal and overcome because not only an I willing to investigate the uncomfortable, but thrive through it by sharing it online. Sharing seems reduce the dark cloud’s power that forms in my mind and body over a few issues.
It’s not a method for every self-help, self-healing blogger but I know it’s certainly helped me in the past.
Has anyone else tried writing posts this way? Or is it too personal of a thing to share? I wouldn’t mind getting others input on this and knowing I’m not the only one who employs such a technique!
P.S. I’ve read INFJ’s love the method of writing and sharing their personal experiences and would be interested to know too of any fellow INFJ’s out there who do this too!

Find Your Inner Superhero

Becoming Hero

Facing stressful situations or people can bring on past issues, our unconscious can commincate untrue beliefs to us about ourselves that have no grounding in reality.
I found myself in this position recently, blaming myself for another person’s negative behaviour, completely convinced it was something I had done wrong with zilch evidence to prove it. I stayed stuck in a fearful loop of repetitive reactions, staying quiet and making myself small, not speaking up and not even looking in the other persons direction in my job.
This is a response I’ve done for years and it’s amazing how we humans succumb to a reactive loop again and again.
I got home later that evening and was so bothered and disappointed in myself (and a little pissed off) that I sat down and meditated on it.
My mind leapt from fear to self-negative talk to fear again:
  • ‘I’ve to go back in again tomorrow!’
  • ‘I’m weak, look at how I performed today.’
  • ‘I’m clearly not good enough to be in this place.’
  • ‘I don’t fit in.’
  • ‘This person doesn’t like me and I’m only a distraction to them when they’re trying to focus, that’s all I am there.’
I mean, these thoughts are untrue but that doesn’t matter. I still believed in them, thankfully I also believe in my own inner superhero.
During meditation, sorting through the melee of self deprecation was also something stubborn and mad. Defiant against my co-workers and the situation, a strength that was surprising in its presence, and the emotional pain was replaced with balance and equilibrium set in.

Suit Up

If there had been no meditation, no hero would have emerged from the maelstrom churning inside. When you’re suffering, there’ll always be a part of you that’s MAD, find the mad and channel yourself towards balance, even if it means you have to be angry for a while. It’s ok to be angry – especially if it means you’ve been stepped on, disrespected or something else. Use it, don’t simmer sitting on it. It’s got a voice with something to say, let it catapult you back to a healthier spot.
Your Inner Superhero knows your value and what’s best for you and it’ll keep you through tough situations. Managing other people but most importantly, yourself. It’s your core self that priorities you above all else so you can be your best everyday. It can save the day if you tap into it.
Does anyone know what I’m talking about? Sometimes I feel like I’m talking crazy since of course I write and edit these posts myself. I sometimes wonder if I’m writing in a bell jar and im just being delusional :p
Does anyone feel like they’vecome to their own rescue? If so, how did you do it?

Honest Conversation on Struggles of Meditation

Can we just have an honest conversation about the struggles of meditation?
I sometimes feel like when I sit down to do it, I always have this level of expectation come over me, like if I had an unbelievable experience the previous time, it sets the bar and I want that again, so much so it hampers my concentration and then I get nowhere near it and I finish up disappointed.
I guess the answer is to be feather light on it and gently coax oneself into it without looming expectation that it has to be a certain way. Easier said than done at times.
Meditation has helped stabilise my emotions and push up to a higher level of present alertness. I used to think i couldnt get to tgat place as I believed I wasn’t smart or good enough for it, but despite a broken part of me that holds vehemently onto that belief, (in the words of Maya Angelou’s poem), I Still Rise.
For me, meditation has brought me knowledge and an abstract level of awareness like:
  • You can only know and empathise with people as much as you can with yourself.
  • Beneath broiling emotions is a self that is fulfilled, light and needs nothing.
  • A sense of energy and emotions in the body, knowing where they are stuck and needing release.
  • My mind and self-worth works primarly based on how people perceive me, and I see the depth I strive everyday to maintain a certain image of myself.
Can anyone relate to the above in their experiences?
Can I ask, how do you know when meditation is working for you? I mean what do you notice personally that keeps you going to do it each time?
And just as importantly, how do you deal with what gets in the way of it? The thoughts that refuse to go away, or the emotion you experience during that breaks concentration? Or would you view meditation as a way of processing unconscious emotions? Which in my experience it has done.

Managing the Joys of Social Anxiety

Social anxiety comes in different types and can vary from mild to extreme. I’ve missed work conferences and cried inwardly through meetings, avoid having to breach uncomfortable topics in my job to avoid confrontation.
I would blurt something out just to give an answer at times, and to not seem like I’m taking too long to give it. Because if I take too long, I may seem unintelligent. It’s escaping the discomfort of the other person waiting on me and it’s rooted in low self-belief.
For anyone who’s got social anxiety, you may relate to some of my own experiences below:
  • I tend to be overly chatty and joking, to protect myself against judgement from other people. Distract them by fake movements and facade so they are left with a favourable view of me, even it it isn’t the ‘real me’. It’s a social survival tactic and has done me no favours in attracting and keeping people worth having in my life.
  • Crippling self consciousness of what other people think of me (the previous point means this becomes a vicious circle, the pressuring need to continue the act).
  • Afraid of offending or pissing people off, and having no confidence to back myself in confrontation.
  • My self-worth at some point, became tied to what intelligent and more self-respecting people thought of me. This is pretty dangerous when you consider how I could treat myself if even one of these people didn’t like me for whatever reason.
The only way I’ve managed to move past it to some degree and success, was initiating the following:
  • Knowing that I can heal from anything. If you can fix this belief right into the core of your being, you’re doing better than most people.
  • Knowing that I’ve got my back in confrontations. Staying in your own side when you feel it is right and backing yourself up. Cultivating an inner loyalty.
  • Knowing that I’m worthy, no matter what. I’ve talked about this tonnes of times in my previous posts. Self-worth not being tied to performance, or whatever measuring stick you or someone else is using on you. You’re an independent human being living on this planet, configure it from there.
  • Accepting your imperfections. Easier said than done but again, it’s knowing you’re worthy despite them. It’s the birthplace of everlasting strength.

What have your experiences have been with social anxiety? Does anyone feel like the more they’ve moved through life, that they’ve been able to cope better? Or even if there was just one thing you did to alleviate it, what was it?

Photo by Katie Treadway on

Finding Your Tribe

Tribe for me is a group of people who share similar or the same values. A connection that runs deep, perhaps even in mysterious undertones that one can’t identify with words but can feel spiritually, innately to be a right fit.

This doesn’t exactly have to be your choir group, nor your meditation club.
It’s really just people who you feel there is a sameness, some common interest that serves as a nice introduction but upon spending more time with them, discovering there is an underlying, unspoken glow you feel, a commonality of humanity.
Being with people of similar circumstance can help too, and openness that is met with non-judgemental reception is even better. A silent, mutual acceptance that is felt and doesn’t need to be demonstrated, is seen and felt through action more so than words.
And through enough of it enters love.
And who doesn’t want more of that?
There’s a felt sense of support, with an openness of it being a permanent connection. Not operating in a vacuum, but acknowledging the hardships of life and the tribe being another harbour to shelter in before venturing back out into a potential storm.
To have a tribe is harder in adult life, it generally becomes more difficult to establish friendships and stay committed with responsibilities, demands and the expectation to always be ‘on’ and reachable.
But what I’ve seen is wholeheartedness at the centre of a tribe, a unification that exists. It’s a torch upheld in its centre, that sports being human, imperfect in the face of world that values perfection and ‘being the best‘.
It’s the group of adventure, indulging in your child-like self and looking around at the grinning faces, knowing you’re in the right place.
Finding a tribe is hard, but cast the net out by going to groups of interest and eventually, you’ll attract. It’s like the digger who doesn’t stop digging. One day, their shovel thuds on something hard.
And it’s that sigh of relief, making the search all the more worth it.