I’m on a course that focuses a lot on teamwork and I have to say I’ve learned quite a bit in the last few weeks on communicating and working with others effectively. It has highlighted a key issue that I’ve been struggling with: patience.
Why is there a real need for patience with other people? Because for a lot of us we don’t have it. It’s a lot easier to interrupt when others are speaking so that we can blow out the tension of thoughts that form in our mind like dark clouds to a storm. We seem to think that what we’re about to say is more valid than what they’re currently saying and therefore, we stop listening. Game over.
The reason it’s game over is because you’ve fallen into a trap that a lot of people fall for when communicating: impatience. Patience and listening requires self discipline and is attained only through practice, and the realisation that people are not what our judgement tells us they are, and may have a better point to make than what we may be pushing to say. What I’m saying is that they are complex creatures like ourselves, and when we realise this we can then begin to be empathetic. But I’m diverging.
Impatience can be applied to other situations but regarding people it normally boils down to frustration or disagreement with what they’re doing.
I’ve found that concentrating on inner calm regardless of the environment in which I’m operating (takes practice!) and giving space and real estate within myself for others to make their impressions and have their voices heard, has been an effective tool.
It’s also made me an attractive team member to work with and I’ve found myself in quite a lot of demand as a result!
Collaborating is tricky business, but an essential ingredient to the betterment of humankind. Think of when perhaps Martin Luther King had to be patient and flexible with others in his campaigning, or Ghandi’s non-violent protests which resulted in the liberation of a country. There is something to be said for allowing others to express themselves, whilst maintaining your own counsel and having enough sense of knowing when to exercise power. I believe that can only be achieved through our more intuitive side. It’s maturity manifested in full circle, and others do pick up on it.
